Words do not reflect what we truly are, nor what we can become. When we define ourselves, we limit a part of our personality. Next, we will see how the concepts "being" are different from "being" and why it is so important to know when to properly use each word. Since we are children we are attributing the characteristics that others see in us. The expectations, prejudices and projections of our parents first. Later, we identify with the behaviors that make us fit in a specific culture in general and also in a particular social group.
Until there comes a time when we can not distinguish the person who performs the behaviors themselves. Already "we are brave" instead of "behaving bravely", "we are extroverted" instead of "behaving extroverted", all this ends up sealing an implicit pact with oneself in which any behavior that moves away from what " I think I am »is wrong or inappropriate. However, life, in its continuous swings, is requiring us all kinds of reactions to be able to act in a balanced and adaptive way. Therefore, sometimes we will need to act, following the example, in a cowardly or introverted way. Imagine that a tiger comes to us, it would be better to run cowardly than to show courage, or maybe one day we need to be with ourselves and we do not feel like socializing, we will need to show an introverted behavior. In both cases, it can suppose suffering for those people identified with this way of being since they feel that they betray their identity. Another example that illustrates the importance of this differentiation is when a person feels that he is "weak" or "unintelligent". This label was developed as a result of a series of experiences lived in its development and, being part of its psychic structure, it will try to confirm it unconsciously throughout life. Discarding this identification will be the first step to develop another more complete identity.
As Anthony de Melo says: "If you think you are what your friends and enemies say you are, obviously you do not know yourself". As we already know, the ego is everything that we believe we "are", those states that express the being with which we identify ourselves. The greater the identification of the ego with what it believes to be, the greater the positioning and, therefore, the more elongated and powerful the shadow that will emerge in addition. Therefore, whenever we confuse our being with our state, we are giving space and strength to our shadow. The label limits, it is a way of reducing "being" to its "state". If we go a little further and we review the etymology of the word. In the English language, for example, the verb "to be" refers to both being and being. However, in Spanish, among other languages, a distinction is made between essence (being) and state (how that being is manifesting). This qualification is of great importance because, every time we identify with the state we express, we are limiting our whole being and reducing it to a belief of identity. In the same way, the English word "Wellbeing" could be translated as "Well-being" or "Bienser"; in this case, in Bioneuroemoción we contemplate "Bienser" as an objective instead of "Bienestar". We understand that from a state of centering and coherence (Bienser) we can achieve many moments of Wellbeing, although the path to that "Bienser" does not have to be necessary and continuously experienced as a continuous state of Wellbeing ... To achieve this "well-being" it is necessary to live without fearing or judging the discomfort, since one would be inconceivable without the other. Transiting between states without being attached to any is what makes us free, which allows us to grow, learn and evolve. Perhaps the key is to understand that I am much more than I think, say or do, this can be the first step towards the integration of being.
"The more a thing tends to be permanent, the more it tends to lack life."